Collide
by bloghey131313
Summary: Maria had left the night of the party and taken her vows. A year later, she unexpectedly bumps into the Captain. (April proboards prompt)
1. Chapter 1

_A/N:_

 _The movie Something Borrowed was on the other night at my cousin's house, and I got an idea for the April proboards prompt (: Talk about last minute…(it's still April 30_ _th_ _in Minnesota!)_

 _Sorry the end turned out to be a little more angsty than I originally intended….oh well…_

XXX

Maria was waiting on the corner for the bus to come pick her up. The sun had just set and the street was illuminated only by the streetlights and the faint glow of light that shone through the shop windows.

She shifted from foot to foot, the night air making her colder despite her full-length black habit and wimple. She hoped she hadn't missed the bus. She knew she shouldn't have stopped in that music box store.

Nuns didn't usually leave the convent, but the milk man had fallen ill and no one had come to replace him, so Maria was the designated one to go into town to purchase milk and eggs. Why they chose her of all the nuns in the convent, she would never know.

She hadn't been into town in, well, about ten months. Her stomach had clenched, twisting with something she couldn't name, as she had walked the same path she did when she took the von Trapp children there, teaching them how to sing and joyfully parading about dressed in nothing but some old drapes. She smiled to herself as she remembered. But it quickly disappeared as she recalled her argument about it with the Captain.

 _No, no, you cannot think about him. Or his children. You have God. And the sisters. And that is all you need,_ Maria firmly tried to tell herself.

Maria shook her head and peered down the road. As she was just starting to get worried that she might have to take a long walk back to the abbey in the darkness, she heard a voice behind her.

"Sister, are you looking for the bus?"

Her heart dropped. She'd know that voice anywhere.

She turned around, coming face to face with none other than Captain von Trapp.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Maria?" He whispered, staring at her, unable to believe his eyes.

"Captain?" She said back softly. He looked even more handsome than she remembered. His eyes were still captivatingly blue, his shoulders were still broad, he still held himself like a navy man, and he still knocked the breath right out of her lungs.

"H-how are you?" The Captain cursed his voice for nearly breaking.

"I am doing well. How are you? How are the children?" The desperation threatened to reveal itself in her voice.

"We're doing alright. It hasn't been quite the same without you," the Captain admitted quietly before recovering to ask, "May I ask what you are doing in town? I thought sisters rarely left the abbey."

Maria looked away, his intense eyes making her feel much too warm.

"Yes, technically we are. Our milk man was ill, though, and so they sent me into town for some necessities." Maria held up the bag she had been carrying.

"Ah, I see."

Awkward silence fell between them for a moment until the Captain spoke again.

"Were you waiting for the bus?"

Maria nodded, and she watched as the corners of the Captain's lips lifted into a small smile. "I missed it, didn't I?" She asked.

The Captain laughed. He actually laughed, and Maria stood there, looking at him in shock. "You did, I'm afraid. It's funny to see that some things about you just never change."

Maria laughed with him. She had to admit the whole situation was humorous.

"Well, I will be taking a taxi home. There is one picking me up in-" the Captain checked his watch "-roughly five minutes. It can drop you off at the abbey first," the Captain offered.

"Oh, thank you Captain!"

"It's not a problem," he answered. He had been telling himself the past ten months he would give anything to see her again. Even if for a fleeting hello. And now here she was, with him, the two of them alone on the curb waiting. Waiting for a taxi. And they would be in the backseat alone with a chance to talk. Good god, it felt like home to hear her voice again. His throat closed up for a minute.

"You didn't drive?" Maria asked.

He swallowed before speaking again. "No, I took a taxi into town since Max had to run into town before I knew I did, so I let him take the car. A terrible decision, really. Who knows what he's already done to it," the Captain joked.

Maria laughed. "Max is in town?"

"Oh, yes, the children need some element of fun around here, since you…" he trailed off.

Maria looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry I didn't really tell you all goodbye the night of the party. But I couldn't stay, I mean you and the children didn't need me any more, you were going to marry the Baroness and the children were going to have a new mother. And I was supposed to be a nun, I needed to go back to the abbey. I did tell you I missed it too much."

"Yes, I recall," the Captain muttered bitterly. He remembered that night far too well.

"Speaking of," Maria said bravely, afraid of the answer, "how is the Baroness?"

The Captain looked at her sharply. "She's doing well. I spoke to her a couple months ago when I stopped in Vienna on a business matter."

"What?" Maria asked, her forehead scrunched in confusion.

"Elsa and I never got married," the Captain explained.

"What?!" Maria asked, her whisper of shock sounding like a scream.

"We were never really in love. The last straw was when she wanted to send the children to boarding school. I knew I couldn't marry a woman who could care less about my children," the Captain said, locking eyes with Maria.

"I'm sorry," Maria said.

"Yes, well…" he trailed off.

He looked at Maria's face to find her staring at him, her eyes shining with…he was too afraid to know.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, I…I'm just so happy that you chose to keep your children with you at home instead of send them away. I know that might have been the easy decision, but I'm glad you made the right decision, even if it was hard."

The Captain smiled softly. "Thank you."

Maria's raised her eyebrows. "For what? Captain, you don't need to thank me for anything."

"For reminding me…for showing me that I needed to love my children and bring them closer, not push them away."

Maria smiled. "I knew that, underneath that hard exterior, you truly did love them."

He nodded slowly.

"I know that you are capable of so much…so much love, Captain. Even if no one really saw it at first. That's probably one of the reasons I had feelings for you," Maria laughed.

The Captain's heart skipped a beat. What had she just said?

"What?" He asked, his heart in his throat.

Maria seemed to finally realize what she said, and her face turned red. "Oh, never mind, it's silly. I…I didn't mean to say that."

The Captain just stared at her, not saying anything.

"Anyway," Maria forced a laugh, "I'm a nun now, and life is good."

She wanted to hit herself. Why had she told the Captain that? And why hadn't he laughed it off? She wanted to curl up and die of embarrassment. And she was a _nun_. Nuns weren't supposed to talk of such things. She was even breaking about every rule, being here alone with a man.

The taxi then rolled up to the curb, stopping in front of the two of them. The Captain opened the door for Maria, and she climbed in, surprised at the gesture. _And he's a gentleman. That's why I have, no_ had _feelings for him. And he is the most handsome man I have ever-_ Maria clenched her hands into fists. This madness needed to stop.

The Captain slid into the backseat next to Maria. He gave the driver the address of the convent and then the address of his villa, and the taxi pulled away.

They were both silent. For far too long. The tension was so thick that it couldn't have even been cut with a knife.

He should have fought for her while he had the chance. And now it was too late. Or was it? She was sitting right next to him. No one would know. He could reach over. He could hold her hand. He could kiss her. God, he'd wanted to do that for almost a year.

"I am truly sorry. You and I both know I am far too outspoken. I don't know what I…what I…" Maria finally muttered.

 _Oh, to hell with it,_ he thought.

The rest of her words drowned against his lips. The Captain had leaned over, his hand on the back of her neck, and pressed his lips to hers.

Maria's eyes automatically fluttered closed but opened when it registered in her mind that Captain von Trapp was _kissing_ her.

It was the first time she had ever been kissed. She had never even thought she would have a first time after saying her vows. She pulled back. "Captain!"

"Sorry," he said, looking down. But not a second later, he was looking back into her eyes. "You know what, I lied. I'm not sorry. Not a single bit. I've been wanting to do that for nearly a year."

"What? Captain?" How could she not have seen it? Maria's heart was thudding against her chest.

"And I know this is wrong, but it feels so damn right," he said.

"Captain, we really can't…"

"Why not?" He asked, being here alone with her making him feel…brave, reckless, god knows what.

"Because! Captain! I'm a nun!"

"Just once. Please." The Captain looked at her blue eyes, bright with emotion.

Maria's defenses quickly began to falter. She couldn't do this, but she had been dreaming about it every single night, and this was the only chance and no one would ever know…

"I suppose just once—"

And he pressed his lips to hers. Just pressed together. They both stilled completely for one moment, that small pressure on their lips enough to halt everything else. For one moment. And suddenly everything moved.

The fire that had rested inside him burned itself into a frenzy, radiating out from where her lips touched his, every single muscle in his body heating.

His hand cradled the back of her head and tilted it back as he leaned in closer, the other hand resting on her waist, pulling her into his body by the waist, feeling her body under his rough hand.

She gave in and tugged him down into her, one hand sliding under his suit coat. Their lips stayed pressed together, hardly moving, not deepening the kiss in any way at all.

Stunned that this was actually happening, the Captain opened his mouth, taking a hold of her lower lip and sucking on it, hearing her breathing fasten and her breasts heave against his chest despite the clothes between them. Her fingers dug into his back and slid into his hair.

"Captain…" she muttered softly into his mouth, and he felt the blood in his body rush south, the soft sigh hardening him in his pants. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, feeling the soft skin under his rough finger, and slanted his head, finally, completely against her.

Her mouth opened willingly under his, her tongue coming out boldly to caress his lips, and his breath caught in his own chest. She was there, right in his arms, and kissing him wantonly, in a way that spiked his pulse.

He let his tongue meet hers, touching it with the tip of his, and heard her moan muffle against his mouth. The garbled sound made his heart race faster, his fingers tightening over her, pulling her closer and he sucked on her tongue for a second, feeling the mewling noises coming right from her throat, drowning against his lips as she kissed him back fervently, arching her back to get closer to him, her stomach rubbing against his erection in a way that made him groan.

If this was going to only happen once, they were both going to get as much as they could.

She did it again, deliberately, and he rocked against her, feeling the tendrils of pleasure shoot down his spine, in a manner it never had before.

They kissed for what felt like a second as the same time it felt like eternity, their scents wrapped around each other, their arms locking them together, hips occasionally rocking, lips slanting, tongues tangling.

A throat clearing had them parting their mouths, their chests heaving, their eyes finding each other for a small second before they turned to face the driver.

He remained expressionless. "We are at the abbey."

Maria looked back at the Captain. Their eyes locked. Maria took a deep breath. It was time to say goodbye. "Thank you Captain. Say hello to the children for me. Truly, thank you for _everything._ " Tears threatened to spill over, and when they finally did, the Captain reached forward, wiping them away with his thumbs.

"I wish I could bring you back with me, that we could go back in time. But we can't. And I know that I can't ask you to stay. So please, Maria, take care of yourself." The Captain's rough voice was filled with longing and love.

Maria nodded, and without looking back, opened the taxi door and walked into the stone walls of Nonnberg Abbey.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N:_

 _Alright, alright, I'll continue *throws hands up in surrender*_

 _Laura and BiteMarksonHertongue, you guys are brilliant. Here we go._

 _There will be one more chapter after this. With lots of kissing. And a happy ending. Yay._

XXX

Maria walked into the gate of the abbey, her fingers brushing up to her lips. How on earth had she just been kissed by the Captain? And not accidentally. And certainly not without passion. Oh, help. She thought she had let him go. She thought she had moved on. This encounter, even though she refused to admit it to herself, had reawakened _something_ inside of her. It had reignited the flame deep inside her that burned for the Captain, and the Captain only.

"Sister Maria?" Sister Margaretta greeted her as she walked through the gate.

"Sister Margaretta! I have everything we need," Maria said quietly. Would she be able to notice something was different? That she had just been kissed thoroughly?

She gave the bag to Sister Margaretta and silently followed her into the abbey kitchen.

"Maria? Are you alright? You seem quieter than normal."

Maria's head jerked up. "What? Oh, no, that's silly. I'm perfectly fine."

Sister Margaretta looked skeptical. "Alright."

"It's just late and I'm tired," Maria tried to explain.

"Oh, of course! Well, I can put these away and why don't you get to bed?"

Maria nodded and walked away, wondering how on earth she would be able to sleep.

The next morning, Maria couldn't stand it any longer. She practically ran to the Reverend Mother's room and knocked on the door.

The Reverend Mother opened it, and ushered Maria inside.

"Have a seat, Sister Maria," she said.

Maria couldn't sit down. She paced in front of the Reverend Mother, a hand on her head. "Oh, Reverend Mother, I have sinned!"

The Reverend Mother looked surprised. "Did this sin happen in town last evening?"

Maria nodded, her face growing pink.

"What is this sin, my child?"

Maria took deep, ragged breaths, and finally the words came tumbling out of her mouth, "I saw Captain von Trapp. And I missed the bus but we bumped into each other and we ended up taking a taxi together, the taxi dropped me off at the abbey and then it would drop him off at his villa, but we were in the taxi, and we were talking, and oh, Reverend Mother, we kissed! Please forgive me!"

Maria hung her head in shame, waiting for her to scold her.

The Reverend Mother swallowed. She knew she should never have allowed Maria to take her vows.

"Do you still love him?"

Maria looked at her, her eyes wide. "I-I don't know! Oh, there have been times when we would look at each other, oh Mother, I could hardly breathe! But I _know_ that I am a nun, and I have promised myself to God, and I am sincerely sorry. I should never have given into the temptation, and I should never have kissed him."

"Maria."

She looked up at the Reverend Mother, her eyes conveying swirling emotions.

"Perhaps you bumped into the Captain in town because God meant for you two to meet again."

Maria looked at her, her eyes widening. "I don't understand."

The Reverend Mother nodded. "I don't either. No one can fully understand the workings of God. In any event, the fact that you did bump into the Captain has to mean something, Maria. It has to mean one of two things. It was either a test. A test to see if you would resist the temptation. Or, it was a sign. A sign that God doesn't want you to spend the rest of your life with us. He wants you to spend it with Captain von Trapp and with his children."

Maria wanted to cry. "I can't! I can't leave the abbey! And if it was a test, I failed! What am I going to do?"

The Reverend Mother's calmness throughout the whole situation shocked Maria.

"I think that you should think about it for the next several weeks. Spend time in prayer, reflecting and asking God what He wants of you. After those weeks are up, you need to make a decision. Either return to Captain von Trapp's villa and discuss everything with him. At least see him. Or, remain inside these walls."

Her heart pounding at just the thought of seeing the Captain again, Maria nodded. "Yes, Reverend Mother."

XXX

It turned out fate would make the decision for Maria.

About a month later, Maria bumped into the Reverend Mother in the courtyard.

"Reverend Mother," Maria greeted her.

"Sister Maria, how are you?"

"I am doing well," Maria answered.

"Good, good. There is something I need to tell you. I think you want to know since you spent time with him and his family last summer."

Maria's heart skipped a beat and she held her breath.

"The von Trapps?" Her voice came out breathier than she wanted.

"Yes," the Reverend Mother looked at her, "They are singing at the festival tonight—"

Maria burst out laughing. "Are you positive, Reverend Mother? Captain von Trapp was quite adamant when I stayed there that his children would never sing in public."

The Reverend Mother shook her head. "Yes, I am quite positive." Maria regretted questioning her. "They are singing tonight but only because the Nazis have given him a commission to join their forces."

Maria's jaw dropped. "No! No, he can't! Joining them would be unthinkable for him and refusing them would be fatal! For him! For his whole family!"

The Reverend Mother looked slightly surprised at her outburst. "Maria, that's why they are singing tonight. It will be a chance, immediately after they perform, to escape. They will come here, hide within our abbey walls, and once it is safe, they will escape to Switzerland where they will all be safe."

Maria's head was spinning. _He was in trouble. The children were in trouble._ She felt light-headed.

"It will work?" She asked quietly.

"Yes. We will do everything within our power to keep them safe here. A good man and innocent children should never have to suffer at the hands of the Nazis. And we will spend the rest of the afternoon in prayer that everything will turn out fine. God has a plan, Maria. He will lead the von Trapps to us, and He will get them to safety."

Maria took several deep breaths. It seemed like she had forgotten how to breathe. "Okay. Is there anything else I can do?"

The Reverend Mother shook her head. "No, right now we simply have to let go and let God. Come now, spend the afternoon in prayer with us. One more thing, Maria."

"Yes?"

"Perhaps seeing him and his family again might give you another chance to figure a few things out."

Maria nodded, her heart in her throat as she followed the Reverend Mother to the chapel. All she could think of was that they were in trouble, and that she would see the children tonight and that she would have to face _him_ again tonight.

XXX

Night had fallen and the nuns were anxiously waiting for the von Trapps to arrive. The bell sounded and Maria jumped up, side by side with the Reverend Mother.

"Sister Maria, we need you. You may be the only one who can comfort the children," the Reverend Mother said as the two walked quickly to the gate.

"Captain! Children!" the Reverend Mother greeted them hurriedly.

"I can't thank you enough for letting us hide here," the Captain told her as she opened the gate.

All eight of them shuffled inside the abbey, the children's eyes wide with fear.

And in that moment, the Captain looked past the Reverend Mother and met Maria's eyes.

Maria forgot how to breathe. Before either of them could speak, the children saw her and rushed forward, wrapping her in hugs.

"Fraulein Maria!" they exclaimed. Maria tried to swallow the lump in her throat but smiled as she saw the children's faces of delight.

"Oh, how are you all?" She asked.

"We're alright," Liesl said. "Hungry," Kurt added. "Scared," Marta whispered.

Maria nodded. The Reverend Mother spoke up, "We must hide you all immediately."

The Captain nodded, and his voice sent shivers down Maria's spine. "Who knows how quickly they will get here."

She led the children upstairs, and the Captain followed with Maria.

"Are you alright?" He whispered, his eyes searching hers.

"Are _you?_ " She asked.

He nodded slowly.

Afraid to speak any more, they followed the Reverend Mother to the graveyard on top of the abbey.

She opened the gate and the children filed in with the Captain. "Captain, you and three children get behind that stone. The other four can get behind that one."

The children looked at her. "Four of us will have to be alone?" Louisa asked.

The three adults looked between each other.

"No, I'll go behind that stone with you," Maria finally said.

The Reverend Mother slowly nodded, not seeming surprised at all, but the Captain looked at her sharply.

"No, Maria, if they find us, they'll hurt you too," he said fervently.

"A risk I'm willing to take," Maria responded, looking at him, not backing down.

The Reverend Mother handed the Captain the key. "We cannot waste any more time."

He swallowed, taking the key from her, and finally relented, knowing there was no way he could change Maria's mind.

Four children crowded behind a stone with Maria and the other three children hid behind the other stone with the Captain.

Before the Reverend Mother closed the gate, she blessed them. Before the children, Maria, and the Captain knew it, she was gone. They quickly huddled behind the stones, crowded against each other.

Gretl's face was pressed to Maria's chest. "We missed you so much, Fraulein Maria." Her small muffled voice tugged at Maria's heart.

Maria simply held her closer. "Father especially," Louisa added softly, her voice barely audible. Maria looked sharply at Louisa. He missed her? She looked over at him, only to find his eyes already on her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his. His gaze made her insides feel like she was going to slowly combust, but it made her feel _safe._

The sound of footsteps finally jolted them back to reality, and the Captain looked away, his eyes darting towards the courtyard.

Maria clutched the children closer to her, her heart pounding, silently praying to God they wouldn't be found.

Once the guards started rattling the gates, Maria frantically looked over to the Captain, her eyes wide, feeling paralyzed with fear.

He met her eyes, and they both shrunk back to the stone wall, trying to make themselves as small as possible.

The guards began rattling their gates, and the light of the flashlight made Maria pray that the guards couldn't hear the pounding of her heart.

At long last, they retreated, and the Captain and Maria simultaneously heaved a sigh of relief. They didn't come out until the Reverend Mother approached the gate, saying, "They're gone. You can come out now."

They all stood up and Maria immediately embraced all the children. The hugs spoke more than words ever could.

She turned around, only to face the Captain. "I'm glad you are safe," Maria told him. Emotions she couldn't name swirled in his eyes. "Thank you," he responded, but there was more meaning to those two words that both of them understood.

The Reverend Mother spoke again, "I think it's time for you to leave. Traveling to Switzerland in the dark will be easier."

The Captain looked at her, nodding in agreement. He faced Maria again, and her eyes were glimmering with unshed tears.

"I don't know how I can say goodbye again," Maria admitted softly, this moment tearing her up inside.

"Then don't. Come away with us," the Captain pleaded.

"Captain! I…" she shook her head, "I can't!"

She looked to the Reverend Mother who had overheard the conversation. "Maybe you should, Maria."

"What?!" She cried, looking between the Captain and the Reverend Mother.

"We could always wait one more day. You could talk with the Captain. Discern whether or not you want to go through the hoops to leave this abbey. Maria, perhaps this is God's way of telling you it is time that you leave us."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry for the long waits for updates! This month is crazy busy and I have had literally no time for writing as I'm starting a new job at the University here, preparing for a huge audition, and trying to finish a ton of papers and projects!_

 _I can't make any promises for upcoming updates on Layers of Secrets but at this point I'm thinking (tentatively) May 30_ _th_ _for the next chapter._

 _(Huge thank you to guest reviewer Team Omelia – firstly, never apologize for constant reviewing and second of all, thanks so much! I'm so glad you like it)_

 _Anyway, hope you guys like this last chapter._

XXX

Maria looked frantically between the Captain and the Reverend Mother. For once in her life, she was at a loss for words.

"Sister Margaretta, would you take the children to a few guest rooms?" Sister Margaretta nodded, ushering the children towards the guest rooms.

When they hesitated, looking back at their father and Maria, the Captain said, "I'll be there an just a little bit. Don't worry, nothing will happen to you here."

His words seemed to comfort the children, and they reluctantly followed Sister Margaretta.

The Reverend Mother turned to another nun standing several yards away in the corner of the rooftop, and Maria turned back towards the Captain.

She took a step closer to him and finally had time to notice the darkened circles under his eyes and his unshaven appearance.

"You look exhausted," she commented, her outspokenness rearing its head once again.

He grimaced. "I haven't exactly been sleeping."

Maria looked down. "I'm sorry. I can't believe everything that's happened. You really sang in the festival?"

The Captain smiled softly. "Yes. The children were magnificent. I thank you every day for bringing music back into our house," he cleared his throat, as if he hadn't wanted to admit it. "In any event, we were able to dash out discreetly immediately after our performance and come here."

Maria let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Nearly doubling over with emotion, she walked over to a wall and leaned against it. "That was too close. The Nazis were _right_ there," she choked.

The Captain nodded, glancing towards the place they had hidden, his eyes stormy.

He looked back at her to see her eyes still on the ground. He had an overwhelming need to put his hand under her chin and lift up her face. Instead he pinched his thumb and index finger to suppress the urge.

"What about _you_?" The Captain asked, and Maria lifted her face, looking at him, her eyes meeting his blue ones. "These past few weeks have wrecked havoc on me and I know that they couldn't have been easy on you, not after we met in town…" the rest of his sentence was left unspoken, but Maria blushed and hoped he couldn't see the color of her face in the dimly lit space.

"No, that's what the Reverend Mother wanted me to talk to you about."

"She thinks that I made the wrong decision," Maria whispered.

The Captain's eyes widened. He could barely process the idea that there was a chance he could actually be with Maria.

Maria nodded. "She thinks God doesn't want me to be a nun."

Before the Captain could say any more, the Reverend Mother walked over to them, interrupting their small conversation.

"I know you both have a lot to discuss," the Reverend Mother started, and Maria glanced over at the Captain, only to find his eyes already on her, making her heart drop.

She still couldn't breathe. The Reverend Mother said softly, "However, what you both need desperately right now is sleep and rest. You cannot make rational decisions when you are sleep-derived."

They nodded. She was right.

"Captain, Sister Berthe will lead you to your room next to the children's."

He nodded his thanks and, taking one last look at Maria, he turned to go to bed.

He walked behind Sister Berthe, wondering how in the world he would be able to sleep, knowing that he was _so_ close to Maria.

The Reverend Mother looked at Maria. "Maria."

She looked at her.

The next words that came out of the Reverend Mother's mouth shocked Maria to her core.

"It's my fault."

Maria stared at her, open-mouthed.

"I failed. I was supposed to guide you in your discernment period, and I allowed you to take your vows when I knew you shouldn't have. I did not take enough time to pray about your choice, and I have reflected since your confession on this. God is telling me that you will be happy with the Captain and your calling is not religious life."

Maria swallowed. "But that's the thing! I am happy here, I really am! That's what's making me so confused."

"Of course, Maria. You are close to God here, and his presence here will make you happy, I can see that. But what will make you _happiest?_ I think God knows that living your life with Captain von Trapp will make you happiest. I believe that is what He is calling you to do. I think that he has shown you that you live life to the fullest with the Captain and his children."

Maria felt pure anguish. How could she choose? How could she leave? Why did her entire life have to change?

"You must go to bed. Pray tonight. God will guide you."

Maria nodded, taking in a shaky breath as she walked to her room.

As she lay wide awake in bed that night, Maria's thoughts ran wildly through her mind.

She couldn't leave the convent. She had already taken her vows.

Could she leave?

Leave for what? To pursue a relationship with the Captain?

The thought was scary to say the least.

The Captain and she…they were both so different and yet somehow they fit together. He brought out sides of her she didn't know existed. She wasn't a better version of herself when she was with him. She just felt…more complete.

Everything they had done weeks ago was wrong.

But everything about them felt right. Was that what God was trying to show her?

It scared her. Because what if one day she lost it all? She had lost it all when her parents had died. It could easily happen again. What if he left her? What if their relationship had only been passionate because it had been forbidden?

She certainly had discovered a lot about herself in the past year. But now that she was discovering that running away might not be an option and that she finally had to face her fears, she wasn't just afraid.

She was terrified.

XXX

The next morning, Maria reported to the Reverend Mother's office.

"Maria," the Reverend Mother greeted her, sympathy in her voice.

"Hello Reverend Mother," Maria responded, taking a seat.

"You have a big decision to make before nightfall."

Maria nodded, swallowing thickly.

"I've told you what I thought. I know that you've been reflecting about it as well. I'll send in the Captain and I think you two should talk."

Maria's heart dropped.

Without waiting, the Reverend Mother walked out and Maria's gaze wandered to the window, gazing and wondering how her world had tilted on its axis so quickly. She felt as if she was slipping, scrambling for purchase on the side of a swiftly crumbling mountain.

She heard the door open and close but she didn't turn around.

She heard _his_ footsteps and she felt the Captain come up slowly behind her. She was frightened to turn around and look into his eyes. When she didn't turn, he wrapping his arms around her waist, her name a pleading whisper on his lips.

A shuddering breath escaped her and her hands flew to his arms, fingernails digging into his forearms as she held on to him. Her body shook with a silent sob and he pulled her closer, his chin propped against the top of her head as she let her body melt back into the solid mass of his chest.

"Talk to me," he breathed.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around, feeling his stubble brush against her forehead. Words she had been too afraid to say or speak after locking them tightly in a guarded part of her heart began bubbling to the surface. But in the safety of the Captain's arms, she let them out.

"I'm scared," she said. "But I _want_ this, I do," she gestured between them. "But I don't know what to do because I'm scared to leave the abbey."

He nodded.

"And I've prayed and I _don't know_ ," Maria said. She wished God would just come down and tell her what to do.

The Captain was silent for a minute, looking at her, hating that she was in agony and he was the cause of it. "If we left tonight and you stayed behind, would you regret it for the rest of your life? Would you think about it for the rest of your life?" He asked quietly.

"Yes! No! I mean, uh…" Maria trailed off.

"Yes," she admitted truthfully, looking down. "But what do I do? Leave the convent? I've already said my vows! I'm a _nun_! And leave for what? To continue to be governess to your children? To pursue a relationship with you?" Maria took a gulp of air.

The Captain nodded. "I would very much like to pursue a relationship with you, Maria, but I don't want you to make this decision based off of what I want."

Maria took a shaky breath and said, "I'm going to make a decision based off of what I think God is calling me to do. And, Captain, I think that the Reverend Mother knows best."

The Captain's heart starting racing, knowing that hope wasn't completely lost like he felt like it had been for the past ten months.

"I…I'm going to spend the rest of the morning in adoration, reflecting and praying to God. I will have to make a final decision after lunch because it will require an afternoon of planning should I choose," Maria's voice cracked, "to go with you."

The Captain nodded, taking a step back. "Maria," he said, drawing her name out.

"I just want for you to be happy."

Maria swallowed, a tear slipping out the corner of her eye.

"And please, don't mention any of this to the children. If I….I just don't want them to get their hopes up," Maria said.

He nodded, his heart pounding, as he walked out of the room.

XXX

After lunch, Maria marched into the Reverend Mother's office, set in her decision. There would be no going back or changing her mind.

Sitting down in front of the Reverend Mother and her desk, the Reverend Mother looked at Maria quizzically. "You've made a decision, my child?"

Maria nodded. "I believe it is the will of God that I leave this abbey and go with the von Trapp family."

The Reverend Mother nodded. "Very well then. I would have to agree with you. Although I will miss you, Maria. We all will."

Tears Maria didn't even know had been collecting in her eyes started sliding down her cheeks. "I know. I will miss you all too."

"God is calling you to do great things, Maria."

Maria smiled through her tears. "I just want to do the will of God wholeheartedly."

The Reverend Mother smiled. "Absolutely. I will give you my blessing and we will have to go through a few more things to let you go. Renouncing your vows and leaving religious life is not to be taken lightly, but I think that this shall be treated sort of like an annulment…in that you became a nun but it was not valid in the eyes of God and your inability to judge what you were doing at the time because of your emotional state."

"Okay," Maria agreed, attempting to process all the sudden onslaught of information.

XXX

Once everything had been finalized, Maria ate dinner and received the Reverend Mother's blessing. The goodbyes to the sisters were painful, but Maria knew she had to look ahead and not dwell in the past. She would never forget the nuns who had made her feel at home, and their closely-knit group made promises to pray for one another.

Night soon fell and Maria went into her room, dressed in her travel outfit, to get a small bag she would take with her to travel over the hills to Switzerland with the von Trapp family. Hearing a knock, she called, "Come in!"

Surprised to see the Captain standing in her doorframe, Maria stared at him. "I can't believe this is happening," he whispered.

"Me neither," she said back quietly. "Do you want to come in so we can talk before joining the children?"

"The Reverend Mother suggested we talk before joining the children. May I come in?" he asked tentatively.

She nodded, and he shut the door behind him. "The Reverend Mother and I have everything sorted out, so I'm all ready to go. With you," she added, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face.

He nodded in agreement. "Nothing was the same without you in my life. And I missed you. Every second of every day." With every word he stepped closer and closer to Maria, backing her into the wall, so that eventually their toes were nearly touching and the softly whispered words caressed her already sensitized skin. Every nerve was on fire. Every cell in her body was super aware of the body that was just hovering above it. She felt his lips press to the sensitive spot by her ear, and her hips arched in response, her spine curving into him. How could her body react like this to such minute touch?

She was all sensation, her body humming, set on fire by this man, this strong, courageous man who had stolen her heart the minute he blew that whistle nearly a year ago.

He gradually pulled back his face, trailing his lips in the ghost of a touch through her right cheek and stopped just a hair breadth away from her lips that were already swelling with need. His lips didn't touch hers. His lips didn't move away. They just stayed. Hovered. She could close the gap between them with just a breath. But she continued to breathe in slowly, sharing her breaths with him, sharing the air with him, without sharing touch. They existed in one space, so close that a mumbled word would snap the tension between their lips.

She waited for him to do something, anything, to keep herself from exploding. The anticipation was killing her. She saw his gaze flicker to her lips, and her own flickered to his. A breathy moan escaped her before she could stop it. Her eyes closed of their own accord and she waited with baited breath. She finally gave up, realizing that the only way he would kiss her would be if she made the first move so as not to scare her, and put her arms around his neck, pulling him into her body, cushioning his hard muscles with her soft roundness.

They collided together like two magnets in the midst of a storm. His hands moved over hers like he had just gotten permission. One hand held the back of her head firmly, tilting her head at just the right angle to give him access to her mouth. The other hand was moving, traveling across her back, smoothing over her waist to the curve of her spine and pulling her forward. While earlier they hadn't been touching at all, now there was not any part of their bodies that wasn't touching the other. They were wrapped around each other like vines, trying to meld into one another, and it was the most incredible thing Maria had ever felt.

He took her lower lip between his own, biting gently and sucking and nibbling on it like her mouth was water and he was thirsty and starved. His tongue was mating hers, in heated battles and softer sighs. They were kissing like long lost lovers who just met after ages of being apart. Which was completely true.

Panting for air, they rested their foreheads together and gasped, trying to breathe in more air.

She bit her lip, marveling at how quickly this man could arouse her and make her combust. He leaned in, biting the lip she had bitten, kissing her softly. She moaned and pulled him closer, feeling the tenor of the kiss begin to chance. It started out slow, but the softness was quickly gone, replaced by an intensity she associated with him, firing her blood even more. Their tongues melded and danced with each other but he kept kissing her like he wanted to kiss her for eternity, holding her like he wouldn't let go.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear and felt her arms tighten around him even more, his neck wet from her eyes, his entire body shaking in her arms.

"I know it wouldn't have been fair to tell you that I loved you before today. But Maria, I've been in love with ever since you sat on that ridiculous pine cone. I didn't stop loving you when you became a nun, I still love you this very moment, and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life. And now I can finally say it because we _can_ be together," the Captain said, feeling free and happy for the first time in a very long time.

He was breaking down, letting go, and she held on to him tightly, letting him, telling him she would keep him together. He had waited so long for this. She could feel that ache inside him. It was so palpable.

She ran her fingers through his hair as he picked her up, crushing her to him like he would meld their bodies if they could, and she held him.

"We need to leave," the Captain panted. Maria nodded.

"For the first time in a very long time, I feel free," the Captain whispered to her. "And happy."

Maria looked into his blue eyes, her own shining with love and awe.

"Are you ready?" He asked, and she took one last look around the small room.

"Yes." Maria grabbed her bag and the two left her room, shutting the door behind them.

XXX

Maria held the entry gate to the abbey open for the seven children. They filed outside, and the Reverend Mother gave Maria one last hug.

"May God be with you," she said. "And you," Maria responded.

Maria slowly shut the gate, it closing with a clang, and looked ahead, into the Captain's eyes. She took a deep breath. "Where the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."

His response was in his eyes, and Maria reached forward to grasp his hand, the warmth of his larger one spreading into her smaller hand.

And suddenly it became crystal clear. God was calling her to live with the von Trapps. Maria was meant to be with the Captain. And crossing over the hills with him to Switzerland, simply being next to his side and knowing that they were together, was like tasting a sip of eternity.


End file.
